Holding Space – The Seemingly Vague Yet Crucial Leadership Quality You Never Heard Of

In the hectic world of today, holding space is quickly becoming one of the most essential leadership qualities. You see more possibilities, know what is yours to carry, and decrease your resistance to life.

Our problems have never been this global and complex. A few hundred years ago, we worried about how to best fortify our castle for the invasion of a neighbouring town. Today, we can worry about the climate crisis or artificial intelligence bringing an end to civilisation. Not to underplay the problems from that time, but due to the advancements in technology and global interconnectedness, we are now continuously informed and confronted by all the problems playing across the world. There is so much information available to all of us, but how can we deal with this information overload and continue to make wise decisions?

I find my answer in the quality of holding space, which doesn’t lie very far from the concept of awareness or consciousness, but with a slight twist. For me, holding space literally stands for the space inside of you to hold what is happening. To be able to be the space for; the emotions that move through you, for the thoughts that come by, and for the reality that is unfolding in front of you. It is the space inside of you that holds the content, the internal and external information. This is a quality that you can develop. And it has a tremendous upside for your leadership ability in the 21st century.

What can “Holding Space” mean for your leadership?

1) Increase your range of possibilities

When you have the holding space for what reality throws at you, you can respond creatively to the situation that gets presented, rather than reacting to it. When you have little holding space available, your ability to respond to situations decreases dramatically. When reality confronts you with something that you do not have the space for, you just have a few options: a flight, fight or freeze reaction. This dramatically limits your ability to think creatively in that moment, therefore limiting your range of possibilities.

With limited holding space, there are also less options that come your way. For example, when your co-workers know that you do not have the space to talk about certain topics or if you are not able to take feedback, this whole range of topics will never be brought up. This potential space can and will not be explored with you. The more holding space you develop, the more people in your surroundings can sense the width of possibilities that are available to explore with you, at any moment in time.

2) Knowing what is yours to carry

When a situation becomes too much for you, it is very easy to blame another for what is happening. When you become a victim of a situation, you instantly lose your power and your ability to respond. When you are able to hold (part) response-ability for what is happening, you are empowered to interact with what is unfolding in front of you. This doesn’t mean you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, but it does mean developing the holding space to see what is there, see what is yours, and being able to carry all the consequences of your part in it.

In becoming more aware of your own holding capacity, you also learn to understand your own boundaries. For example, you can use signals such as stress or overwhelm to adjust and reduce the amount you are holding in each moment, to avoid reaching a stage like burnout. When your holding capacity grows, you will see your boundaries expand.

3) Decreasing your resistance

When you do not have the holding space for what is happening in the world, you end up resisting what is happening. This creates a tremendous amount of inner turmoil. Being in a constant state of resistance to life causes a lot of suffering for you and the people around you. When you are able to take into your heart the whole reality as it is, you can embrace the situation and move forward.

You need holding space to be able to deal with the complex and dual world that we are a part of. Every choice you make as a leader has duality in it. A choice might be beneficial for one stakeholder, but have downsides for another. A lot of internal resistance is created when you are only able to hold one side of a dualistic problem. Holding space can help you make confident decisions in complex situations, embracing the inherent duality of the result.

Above are just a few examples of what holding space can mean for your leadership. This is a subject with a lot of depth and more upsides than can be put into words. But knowing that it has so many upsides for your leadership, how can you develop this quality?

So… How can you develop “Holding Space”?

An everyday process

Bringing awareness to what is happening inside of yourself, becoming the observer of your internal reality and your reaction to the world, that is the everyday process. It is through this process of noticing, that you can start to process everything that is on top of mind. You are clearing yourself up, like a backlogged computer, taking the time to process something, and as you do that, you create space. Eventually less thoughts and emotions will demand your attention, and a certain stillness dawns on you. This is where you will see that if something new pops-up, you have more space to deal with it. The everyday process can be done every second of every day and you don’t even need to do a specific practice, however a practice can help a lot.

A practice

One way that helps create holding space is by picking up a practice, it is a way for you to consistently dedicate a moment of your time to expanding your holding space. There are countless practices out there, provided by many wise individuals who have developed them over the centuries. It’s really about finding a practice that works for you. A few that I would recommend are meditation, breathwork, various yoga’s, constellations, and centering exercises. I have been meditating for many years and every year I experience the huge difference it makes in expanding my holding space.

Selective in-take

One of the reasons that you might feel overwhelmed is because of information you take in that you are not able to deal with. It’s valuable to reflect on which information you are currently taking in and from which sources. Unfortunately, you are not able to process all the information of this world, so you will have to make choices. What are you choosing to engage with and what are you giving your holding space to? Which information truly helps you in your contribution to society? I personally have removed all notifications from my phone and deleted certain social media accounts to make more holding space available for other subjects I find important.

Back to you

And finally, it comes down to you. Do you feel the willingness to create space? To take time to process what is playing in your internal background? Do you feel the necessity to decrease your sense of overwhelm? To detangle yourself from the overload of information and create space to hold your thoughts, emotions, and the reality unfolding in front of you at this very moment? Is it important for you as an individual and as a leader?

I believe that holding space will be one of the most important qualities of a leader in order to make wise decisions in an information-heavy 21st century. Would you agree?

This article was published on May 4, 2022 – INJOY Newsletter (LinkedIn)