Social Identities – What are yours?

How we embrace our favorite Social Identities can turn us, and the people we lead, either towards friction and conflict or to appreciation and inclusiveness. Discover for yourself how the personal and professional impact of becoming more aware of our Social Identities can be profound.

Social Identities – What are yours?

At this year’s Guild retreat in the Netherlands, I felt the calling to facilitate a session about Social Identities because they are so pervasive in our everyday life – whether we are aware of them or not. The lens of Social Identities might also help to explore and understand the underlying dynamics of the disconnection, friction, conflict, and polarization many of us currently observe and experience, not only around us but also within us – at work, at home, in society, and the world at large.

And finally, I believe, every leader who is traveling on the path of consciousness might benefit greatly from exploring his/her/their Social Identities (and the attachments that usually go with them) to foster an inclusive culture of care for all.

What are Social Identities?

Social Identities refer to the various ways individuals define themselves and are perceived by others within the context of social groups. They play a significant role in shaping an individual’s self-concept and influencing our interactions and experiences within society. Simply put, Social Identities help us understand ourselves and others in social interactions.

To involve every retreat attendee from the beginning, I started the session by asking the participants to introduce themselves to another person with the most important things they should know about them because we naturally tend to gravitate to our Social Identities when it comes to presenting ourselves to others.

Our Identities are shaped by a variety of factors, such as

• Race, ethnicity,
• Gender, non-binary,
• Sexual orientation,
• Physical appearance,
• Religion,
• Spirituality,
• Nationality,
• Education (e.g., ivy league, Oxford, Cambridge, Stanford, etc.),
• Profession (e.g., doctors, engineers; strategy, operations, finance; etc.),
• Role (c-level, middle management, team lead, etc.),
• Organization (e.g., private or public institution; global player, SME, company, family company; headquarter, region or country organization, etc.),
• Performance “status” (high performer, talent, etc.),
• Family (e.g., family history, marital status, kids, patchwork, etc.),
• Socioeconomic status,
• Political orientation (e.g., conservative, liberal; vaccinated, unvaccinated, etc.),
• And many more.

Social Identities are highly individual and some factors play a more important role than others. Therefore, each factor can have a different weight in an individual´s self-concept.

Depending on the social context we find ourselves in, some factors may also come more to the forefront while others move in the background (e.g., work versus private context). And, some of these factors are stable (e.g., race or ethnicity) while others can change (e.g., marital or socioeconomic status).

In the next round, I asked participants to draw their own, unique Social Identities on paper and to have their most important factors reflected in the drawing by the bubble size. Similarly like in the example below.

After the drawing, they shared their Social Identities in small groups and were asked to identify if and which factors they had in common.

In our social life, we also form groups around commonalities or shared Social Identity factors and experience a comforting sense of belonging by being among like-minded people. That is why, shared Social Identities are often experienced as “the tribe we belong to”.

BUT Social Identities also have a “downside” because they are connected to:

1. Cognitive Stereotypes:
   Exaggerated beliefs based on a specific mental model.
   Our brain uses these mental models to make fast decisions and save energy.
   Whenever we stereotype or label, we also divide (you vs. me, us vs. them) and judge.
2. Emotional Prejudice:
   Positive or negative feelings towards another individual or a group.
   We feel either attracted or repelled, sometimes even without knowing why.
3. Behavioral Discrimination:
   The way we act; is often based on assumptions.
   Expressed in a way that perspectives, opinions, and feedback of particular people or groups are avoided or left out.

Stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination happen on both, a conscious and unconscious level, and collectively, they lead to systems of inequality.

Therefore, we can best think of Social Identities as a coin with two sides. One side can make us feel strong (when we experience a sense of belonging) and the other can make us feel vulnerable, due to our need to belong.

In the next round, I asked participants to explore in groups their need to belong and how they might feel when they are on the receiving end of stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination (so-called Identity Threats).

When people experience Identity Threats, they typically react in two ways:

1. Fight by

• working harder
• assimilating
• adjusting
• conforming ala join them if you can´t beat them

or

2. Flight by

• underperforming
• disengaging
• disconnecting
• opting out
• quitting
• confirming the negative stereotype of one´s group
• hiding one´s identity

At the end of the session, we had a group discussion about what an individual can do to overcome an Identity Threat and what leaders can do to reduce the downside of Social Identities in the workplace.

For me personally, one of the most impactful takeaways of this session was the sharing of a parent with a transgender child. The experienced hostility and lack of tolerance made me hold my breath and it still does when I think about it.

It made me also remember Brené Brown´s quote: “We don´t judge people when we feel good about ourselves”.

What are your Social Identities?

Now, I would like to invite you to take some moments and reflect on the following questions:

• With which identity factors would you introduce yourself to others?
• What are your most important identity factors? Which ones are particularly dear to you?
• How would you feel and what would you do when you are exposed to stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination (= Identity Threat)?
• How could you overcome Identity Threats?
• What can you do to foster more tolerance and inclusiveness in your social context at work, at home, and in society?

Only when we get aware of our own Social Identities (and how attached we are to them), we have a chance to move beyond, do not get washed away by our emotions, and can be genuinely open to a new way of togetherness.